Monday, January 17, 2011
Why?
"Of course, the moment he left the strength went out of her legs and she had to sit on the bed recover. Why did he have to tell her he loved her? It had been so much easier when she'd believe he didn't. Then she hadn't had to worry about him betraying her again. She had been able to push her fears into background. His admission had brought everything back with a vengeance, and give him the answer he wanted had been beyond her courage."
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Tricia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting all your posts together on one blog. I’m sure this is your first experience with this type of assignment, and I appreciate the time and effort you put into it. Unfortunately, there are quite a few issues with the total project.
One issue is that there are some parts of your posts that do not sound like your voice. As we have talked about before, it is perfectly ok to use outside sources, but only when you cite that source, giving credit to the author. In the posting “relationship,” the first section sounds like it came from someone else, and your voice comes through starting in the third paragraph.
Another problem is that your posts are largely based on summary rather than analysis, which is why many of them are too brief. Outside resources can help when you are trying to find more to say. In other posts, you do use outside resources, but it is unclear where your writing starts and ends. One post has the same color text as the background, making it impossible to read.
Ultimately, you missed some of the major criteria that the project called for. Final Grade: 65 D